“God is testing me.” Replace God with Life, Universe, or whatever else you may have heard or repeated.
Where did the idea that we are always being tested come from? There have been so many moments in my lifetime that I’ve heard these words from someone, some sermon, some guilt-ridden person who felt they let their creator or themselves down.
Struggle equaled test.
Time is spent reeling over what was done wrong, what could be done differently, how you can appease the angry God that now throws down his wrath and needs you to prove your worth again. And again. And again.
A beautiful old friend of mine, who is deeply in love with his faith, made me question the idea of being tested. I honor his courage to always want to stand in the light, but according to him, he fails constantly. No matter how hard he tries, he can never get it right. He lives inside the mind of an addict and never feels that he is enough. He feels he can never claim the crown of worthy and satisfy his creator. So with that comes constant punishment. Life throws him daggers at every turn, and at each step he preaches that God is testing him. I feel his anxiety and the fear he exudes when being challenged to change his patterns. For him, he has a lifetime of evidence that shows no matter his action, he gets the same results. What my friend fails to see, is that he is being misled into thinking his actions are the problem, when he’s deeply in need of a soulshift. His belief needs to turn from a victim being constantly tested, to a focus of ONLY gratitude of this life. Focusing on the compassion and pure love he is receiving from above. Letting go of the idea that there is anything more than a desire for happiness from his creator, and never a command to show worth.
So what is this test? When does it end? When will our minds shift from being tested to being loved?
False Truth: Struggle, challenge, grief, and despair equal a TEST from the Universe and the God of our own understanding.
We have been told that we must push uphill and struggle to find the light. I call bullshit. Life is full of challenges and heartache. This is not a reflection of a test from our source. Source energy is of only complete uninhibited love. Tests are from ego, and there is no ego in pure love. It is of our human nature that we need to place blame to create some idea of understanding. If I imagine this is something I need to solve, then there is validation in its occurrence. But this is a limited way of thinking. A road block that fills us with guilt and shame. Abundance is not set with a checklist of what you must accomplish first. It is an equal opportunity that is given to ALL. Not a select few, but all. Tapping into it takes only a shift from negative into gratitude in order to begin. It isn’t without work and constant self-checks, but it is available without tests or certain levels to pass.
Growth comes from finding the lessons in our challenges. That is where the peace and healing find their opening. In our struggles we find courage, strength, and a new perspective on the life we lead. Those moments are not without their worth, but at the same time, they do not define our worth.
STOP using the word test when referring to your life. This is NOT a test. You are not being asked to perform. This is your reality, your world, and these are your choices to make. Stand in gratitude and let go of the rest.
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Also try the Mastering Your Existence course where you will do deep self-reflection and discover your best self.